New Year’s Eve blues

For as long as I can remember I disliked New Year’s Eve.  The night always brings a sadness and longing that I can’t really describe.  I have no reason to be sad and I have no idea what I’m longing for, it’s just there.  Maybe I have a memory from another life that revolves around New Year’s Eve.  Who knows?

Even when I was little, I never enjoyed myself.  I would cry when the ball dropped over Times Square.  At one party when I was a teenager, I got such a heavy feeling in my chest that I thought I was going to pass out.  I went on for the entire night.

I’ve tried going out.  I’ve been to socials, wine tastings, friend’s parties, hanging out with family, and going to the bar.  I have never ever ever got out of my NYE blues.  I can’t say that I didn’t have fun at these celebrations, but the blues was always there.

The worst is trying to tell whatever boyfriend I had at the time that all I wanted to do was stay home and read a good book and forget about NYE.  They never seem to understand and I end up going out counting the minutes until I can go home.  Since I’ve been single for the past…well what feels like forever, I have spent NYE doing exactly what I want.

I’m not a depressed or pessimistic person.  I am not prone to melancholy.  It’s just this night.  I hate it.

I do have one New Year’s tradition that I have been keeping up with since I’ve been on my own.  Every year, I make homemade cinnamon rolls and allow myself to eat as many of them as I want.  So tonight I will drink a glass of wine and read a book, and then get up nice and early to run 3 miles.  That way I can feel a little less guilty for eating my face off.

Happy New Year!  May you and yours have a year filled with love, happiness, and fun!

Posted on December 31, 2011, in Favorite Things, Just go away. Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. Honey, there is nothing wrong with staying in. I’m only sorry the whole idea of it makes you sad.

    Hubs and I have never found the fun in NYE. Especially since having kids, we Are super low key. When our 5 year old asked if we could stay in and have gAme night tonight, we all high 5’d him.

    Here’s to a happy, healthy and prosperous 2012.

  2. Usually, i stay in and have a video night of any actor i like… It’s like a theme night. Depending who I’m in the mood for, I’ll pick them out amongst my collection (Sean Connery, Christian Slater, Kneau Reeves… mmmmm… yummo to all of them!) then I’ll make a huge amount of popcorn with melted butter over it and scoff in! Or I’ll watch all my vampire movies in one sitting! 😛 Now, that’s a cool night.

    This NYE, I’ve had a good reason to be in a good mood – and to go out. I’ve been interested in a man in the last 6 months. He’s amazing, brilliant, smart and handsome; all the boxes are ticked on my test sheet… and he makes me laugh (this is very important!). William is a great person to be around and we went out for the first time on our own last Wednesday, scoffed into pancakes at The Pancake Manor and pored through 3 bookstores in one day! How incredibly cool is that??? He loves books as much as I do!
    On NYE, we saw each other again and we had a great time… then on New Year’s Day, we sat at a gathering in New Farm Park and chilled out with under a huge tree by the Brisbane River for 4 hours! It was fantastic. Last night, I called him and thanked him for the energy rush; that it was something I needed (as he had brought along a huge crystal to recharge everyone) and he said that he’s like to scoff into pancakes again at The Pancake Manor with me soon… another date! I’m so happy, Deb… I haven’t had a second date in about 5 years! 😀

    And to think, I used to spend NYE alone and not thinking they were much like any other night… I guess I stopped looking and found who I was searching for right in front of me. 🙂

    Wishing you the very best. Oh, if you’d like to know what William looks like, just take a peek at My Book-Crazy Life… he’s sitting next to me in the first lot of photos in the black shirt with the German word on it… he’s lovely. 🙂

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